Ash and Lavender
by luckyricochet
Summary: "I like my big sister. She's very kind to me, and everything she tells me is interesting." - Hiiragi Shinoa. Glimpses into the relationship between the Hiiragi sisters.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: For those who have not read the light novel, the quote from the summary is from chapter two of the second volume, when a young Shinoa is delivering a message on behalf of Mahiru to Guren.**

I was still awake, despite being it almost being midnight. _Why won't Father see me?_ I thought. Not once had I ever laid eyes on him; I didn't even know what he looked like. That day I had thought I would finally assert myself and have him meet, only to be forcefully denied by numerous members of the family. I haven't forgotten their faces when they looked down at me. So I went to bed, full of angry tears and frustration that kept me awake.

Through the paper-covered door, I saw a shadow move. A small figure, with a mass of hair. It was easy to tell it was my sister. I watched as she slowly trudged down the hall, when she suddenly stopped. Almost gracefully, she seemed to fall to the ground, where she stayed, quivering.

I had never seen Onee-san in such a form. Looking tired and defeated. I got out of bed and opened the door quietly. She sat on the floor, panting. Then she looked up and I froze, having been caught. Her face was red and sweaty, and there were bruises on her arm. But her smile was as warm and sweet as ever as she said,

"Whatever are you doing up, Shinoa?"

"A-are you okay?"

Onee-san then closed her eyes, still with a smile on her face. After a moment she looked at me again. "Just tired, Shinoa."

"You want to sleep here?" I said, opening the door wider.

Onee-san looked surprised, like she had never received that kind of offer before. I was surprised myself when she accepted. She stood and came in, standing in the center. I stayed by the door after closing it, a little shy. Onee-san and I didn't get to spend much time together. It seemed she was always busy, either at school or training. I talked to the nurses more than I did Onee-san. I lived with a certain degree of awe around her. She was so perfect. Intelligent. Beautiful. And most importantly, kind. I thought she always looked like she was keeping a secret, though. Her face always had a little bit of mystery, but she was good at disgusting it too.

Finally she turned around. "Where shall I sleep?"

"On the bed..." I thought that was obvious, but it didn't seem to please Onee-san, who was shaking her head.

"You were planning on giving it all to me, weren't you? No, that won't do." She got on the bed, moves to the side, and pats she space next to her. "We'll share."

I hesitated. It didn't seem that was proper-

Onee-san grinned. "Father won't ever know, will he? We don't have to act all prim all the time."

After a moment, I joined her. She was right, after all. Father didn't come down here anyway.

"Shinoa?" Onee-san asked.

"Hm?"

"You never said why you're still awake. You ought to be sleeping."

I didn't want to answer. But I had already been asked twice, and by Onee-san, no less.

"...I was thinking why Father doesn't want to see me," I said at last. "I want to see him."

From behind me, I heard Onee-san sigh. "Oh, Shinoa. I'm sorry."

"For what?" I wondered, twisting around to look at her.

"The reason Father won't take the time to meet you is...well, it's because of me," Onee-san said. "He's very interested in my potential, as the next leader of our family. I guess...I solved his problem. So he feels he doesn't need to pay attention to you."

I was silent. An extra piece. That's what I was. Unnecessary to solve the puzzle, set aside in the box to be ignored.

Suddenly I felt Onee-san hug me. "I'm sorry, Shinoa. I never meant for it."

I think my next question surprised her, though, when I said, "Is he why you were training now?"

Onee-san hesitated. "Yes," she said quietly. "I suppose he is." I thought she sounded angry.

I thought of who Father might be. A big, scary man? Who else would make a girl practice so hard, and so late into the night? Perhaps I was lucky for being overlooked by him.


	2. Chapter 2

I wasn't sure when I realized Onee-san was in love. When I had met Shinya, I knew he and Onee-san were engaged. I thought they had loved each other. But as soon as Shinya left the room, Onee-san slammed her fist on the table, upsetting a vase.

"This is a horrible family," she whispered, so quietly I almost couldn't catch it. "I hate this family."

It seemed tactless to ask if she was all right since she clearly wasn't, so I didn't say anything and waited for Onee-san to explain herself. But I knew then she did not love Shinya. This wasn't the face of a girl in love. Then she noticed my silence and then smiled a little.

"Don't worry, Shinoa. You're the exception."

I returned Onee-san's smile. "Who is he?"

Her eyes widened in surprise. "How clever you are," she laughed. Her face went serious. "If I tell you, no one else must ever know, Shinoa, do you understand? You must swear you will take it to your grave."

Onee-san had never said anything of such gravity to me before. But she must have felt all alone, if she felt the only person she could confide in was a mere child. _Onee-san has been very good to me,_ I thought, and nodded solemnly. "I swear."

Onee-san considered me a moment more, and then said, "Ichinose Guren."

"Ichinose...?" I repeated. The name was vaguely familiar. A low branch family of the Hiiragis, I remembered. Universally hated by all the Hiiragis. And Onee-san loved one of them? I looked at her.

"Does he love you too?" I asked.

Onee-san smiled, her whole countenance brightening. Now here was a girl in love. "Absolutely. Guren wants to be with me too. I know it. And he's working very hard to be with me, so I must as well."

She stood and left without another word.


	3. Chapter 3

I was five when I first met Kureto and Seishirou. At first I doubted that they was my brothers. Their faces were not as gentle as Onee-san's, even for boys, and their hair was ink black. When they spoke, they were brash and loud. I didn't like them.

Seishirou was a sniveling kid, and though I was younger, it seemed that he was the child, not me. Always complaining or whining about something, while at the same time parading himself around like a lord. I could tell his behavior annoyed even his brother. Kureto was a more quiet boy, but it seemed like he was always one hair away from exploding in pent up rage. He did everything with a vengeance. Both of them, though, treated me without much concern. When I told them how much I admired Onee-san and asked if they were friends with her as well, they just scowled.

"They're like Father," Onee-san explained when I told her about it later. "They think they don't need to be bothered with you."

"So why did they make faces when I asked about you?"

"Ah...well, Seishirou is just a big baby and does whatever his brother does to act tough. And Kureto...he's my rival of sorts. You remember how I said I was maybe going to be the next head of family?" I nodded. "Kureto is also being considered."

"A competition?" I asked.

"A little," Onee-san said. "But we're usually in our own bubbles. Evaluated separately, you see."

"Have you ever fought him?"

"We spar with each other on occasion," Onee-san said. "He's only ever beat me once, though. My test scores are better than his too. So I guess he holds a grudge against me and takes it out on you."

I grinned. "Ha! He's just mad because my sister is stronger than him. Don't worry, Onee-san. He doesn't bother me."

Onee-san blinked and then chuckled. "Good. I'm glad."


End file.
